I’ve been on leave for three weeks and while I’d made a list of things to get done, I was careful not to let it dominate my break. Age has brought the benefit of feeling that I don’t need to make myself so busy, that it’s ok to do nothing sometimes.
I continued to meditate and exercise every day at home (but more on that elsewhere). I walked a bit, in accordance with our current lockdown rules. Having lived in this area - as a non-driver - as long as I have though, I’m already intimately familiar with every street within walking distance of my home. That’s ok, because there’s still plenty to look out for - cats in windows, interesting plants, strange cars, or other previously unnoticed details of a house. Sometimes a house is suddenly, completely gone. It’s harder to find interesting things to noice about newer contructions, though I suppose they’ll find a way to seem “quaint” in a few decades’ time. I at least managed to make myself use one of my other cameras while I walked - the eternal struggle of not just using the iPhone is real.
One of the things I thought I’d do was to catch up on a backlog of technical work for various home systems and/or projects, but I found myself wanting to avoid the room I work from - I’m on holiday, after all, and spending hours at the same desk I’d be at during work time felt…unnecessary. Instead, I read a few books, listened to a lot of music, watched a few old movies, took far too many photos of the cats and did some gardening.
There’s plenty of other things I should have done, mostly around contacting friends or home improvements but it’s no secret that, as with many of us right now, I’m tired, and so just having some personal space feels like the best thing I could do for myself.
What was the best part? All of those nothing, in-betweeny moments. Noticing the sunlight on our sleeping cats, feeling the sun on my face in the back garden, and sitting alone in a room with nothing in particular to do.
All of that feels like enough, now, and it feels time to return to the world. Here goes the re-entry…